


Fears

by avatar_dragon_rider



Series: Old Wattpad Stuff [1]
Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Flashbacks, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III Needs a Hug, Race To The Edge, crossposting the better-written Wattpad fics, personal headcanons, somewhat canon compliant???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-20 14:00:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9494660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avatar_dragon_rider/pseuds/avatar_dragon_rider
Summary: Astrid finds out that Hiccup, their fearless Dragon Master, actually is afraid of something, and is terrified of admitting it





	

"Come on, come on!" Fishlegs grumbled as he looked through the Dragon Eye. Meatlug nosed her rider, soft eyes looking up at him. Fishlegs just ignored her and kept rifling through the Eye. "It's gotta be in here!"

"Whoa, Fishlegs," Hiccup said as he walked into the clubhouse, Astrid at his side. "Whatever you're angry about, I can assure you the Dragon Eye had nothing to do with it."

Fishlegs either didn't hear Hiccup or was just ignoring him. "It has to be in here!"

"What is he looking for so intently?" Astrid whispered to Hiccup, her eyes on Fishlegs.

Hiccup shrugged, as lost as she was. He walked over to his friend, standing behind his chair. "Fishlegs, you haven't slept since yesterday. What's going on?"

Fishlegs didn't respond until Hiccup laid a hand on his shoulder. The larger boy jumped and looked back at the heir. "Hiccup! I didn't realize you were in here."

"We've been in here," Astrid said, crossing her arms. "We've been trying to get your attention. You kept ignoring us."

"Astrid." Hiccup gave her a look and she rolled her eyes. He just shrugged it off and looked back at Fishlegs. "What are you trying to do?"

"I'm trying to figure out this new slide for the Dragon Eye," Fishlegs explained, going back to his work as he spoke. "I think it has information on Legendary dragons."

"Legendary dragons?" Astrid asked. Hiccup and she shared a confused look before looking back at Fishlegs.

"Dragons that are extremely rare and can control other, lesser dragons," Fishlegs explained. "The Screaming Death is an example of this class, as is--" Suddenly the Dragon Eye lit up, projecting a scarlet dragon slide onto the wall. "The Red Death!" Fishlegs exclaimed excitedly.

Hiccup froze, his eyes locked on the image on the wall in front of him. The Red Death's face was projected four times: one in the middle, and three around it for various attributes of the dragon. The one in the middle had its giant mouth open, as if it was roaring.

Hiccup's face paled. Fire swirled in his vision, an endless inferno with no escape. He remembered the flames, closing them in on all sides as he and Toothless weaved their way through the spines on the dying queen's back. Then suddenly, the fire is gone, and a giant bludgeon of a tail replaces the flames. Hiccup is knocked off of Toothless's back, dazed and disoriented, falling down to the blaze below. He remembered reaching for Toothless, trying to get to him. Then, pain flares in his left shin as teeth are sunk into flesh, and the boy is yanked into the arms of the dragon. Hiccup's vision goes black as dark wings wrap around him, and the dragon crashes to the ground. Flames lick at scales that won't burn, and exposed, injured flesh that will. He can't even scream, the pain muting him completely. The heat is almost unbearable, even through fireproof wings. He remembered falling asleep, not knowing if he'd wake up again, as there is the repetitive sound of someone yelling "Hiccup! Hiccup!"

"Hiccup!" Astrid placed a hand on Hiccup's arm, shocking him back to reality. Hiccup leapt away from her, still on edge from the resurfaced memories. Astrid drew her arm back, her eyes full of concern. "Are...you alright?"

"I..." Hiccup glanced between Astrid and Fishlegs, both of whom had their eyes locked on him. His eyes flicked back to the projection on the wall, then back to Astrid as she took a small step towards him. Hiccup took a step back in response, with wild eyes like a cornered animal.

"Hiccup?" Astrid took another step forward, reaching out to Hiccup. But before she could do or say anything more, Hiccup turned and bolted out the door. In a split second he was taking off on Toothless.

"Hiccup!" Astrid yelled after him, but whether he heard her or not, he didn't slow down.

"What was that about?" Fishlegs asked.

"I don't know..." Astrid looked back at the projection, at the Red Death pictured in the center of all the indecipherable information. Hiccup had been perfectly fine until Fishlegs projected it onto the wall, then he'd gone ghost white and froze, almost like he was in a trance. Astrid had to say his name five times before he snapped out of it. A thought started to form in her head, a theory to explain what had happened. "But I'm gonna find out." She ran outside and leapt onto Stormfly. "Find him, girl."

The Nadder squawked obediently and took off, following the scent of human and Night Fury.

<><><><><>

With Stormfly's nose, it didn't take them long to find Hiccup and Toothless. The two had flown off to a secluded part of the island, where a few mother Night Terrors were raising their young away from the flock. The large tree branches seemed to overlap, creating the perfect canopy over the entire clearing. A small pond sat in the center, almost like a replication of the cove back on Berk. The sunlight streamed through the leaves, casting moving shadows on the water and giving the impression that the entire place was alive. Astrid wondered how beautiful the place must look in the fall, when the leaves are all sorts of different colors, and in the winter, when the pond would be frozen over and snow and ice would blanket the branches of the trees.

Stormfly flew through a hole in the leaves, a Night Fury-shaped hole. Judging by how broken the branches were, and by how long the branches seemed to have been broken, Astrid figured that Hiccup and Toothless had crashed here a couple weeks ago, when Hiccup was trying to test out a new tail operation for Toothless.

Astrid slid off of Stormfly and looked around the clearing. Toothless was in a patch of what must be dragon nip, rolling around on his back like nothing was wrong. Stormfly soon joined him, curling up in the patch of nip like it was a comfy bed.

Hiccup was sitting by the pond, his chin resting on his knees with his arms around his legs. His right hand cupped his left leg, where flesh met prosthesis. He didn't appear to be rubbing it, just resting his hand against it, like it was a child he was comforting from a nightmare.

Astrid stepped slowly towards him, fallen leaves crunching under her boots. She stopped when she was right behind Hiccup, gently running her fingers through his auburn hair to announce her already known presence. Hiccup didn't say anything, just stayed perfectly still with his eyes staring blankly at the water.

Astrid stayed quiet as she moved to sit beside him, her left leg brushing lightly against his right. She reached out to him hesitantly, afraid she might make him run again. When he didn't move, the hand buried itself in his hair, fingers idly twirling smooth auburn locks between each other.

"You okay?" she asked softly, almost in a whisper. When Hiccup didn't answer, Astrid shifted closer to him so her other hand could play with his hair, braiding a rattail behind his ear that would surely be taken out after she left. "Can I ask what happened back there?"

A flash of green graced Astrid's peripheral, then turned back to the sky-blue water. "I freaked..." came Hiccup's soft reply. His voice broke halfway through, the way it often did when he was trying to hide something he didn't want the others to see.

Like a certain fear Astrid was beginning to suspect. "I know," she said softly, tying off the end of the braid with a thing piece of black thread. "I saw you in there. I was there." Both of them were quiet for about a minute before Astrid spoke up again. "Can I ask why?"

Hiccup sighed, turning his head slightly so Astrid couldn't see his face. "It's complicated..."

"The least I can do is listen." Astrid moved closer to him, sliding her arm around his shoulders. She didn't dare show this much affection to Hiccup in public, as the progression of their relationship would have led their parents to pressure them into a marriage contract, which neither of them were ready for. "Please, talk to me."

Hiccup remained silent.

"Hiccup you're scaring me." Astrid drew away from him slightly, her arm coming away from his shoulders. "You never get like this, at least not with me."

"I was afraid, okay?!" Hiccup snapped, his head whipping to Astrid as he yelled. Astrid's eyes widened, and she moved back a few more inches. Hiccup sighed, running a hand through his hair and tirning his bloodshot eyes back to the water. "Fishlegs put that...that thing up on the wall and I just..."

"Hiccup, you're not making any sense," Astrid said calmly, daring to move closer to him. "Start from the beginning, as far back as you need to. I promise I won't make fun of you for whatever you say."

Hiccup sighed, staring at the ripples moving across the surface of the water. He sat in silence for a few minutes before speaking. "It was about a week after I woke up from the Red Death battle. I don't know, I guess my brain was starting to remember things from the battle while I slept, because I started getting nightmares about falling into the...the fire that started when the dragon exploded. I thought I was unconscious during that part, but I guess I wasn't. The nightmare was always the same thing: Toothless and I flying through the maze of spines, hitting the tail, falling into the fire, Toothless sinking his teeth into my leg to pull me close, falling to the ground, feeling the heat of the fire through his wings, hearing my dad yell my name before everything goes dark."

Astrid listened intently, saying nothing as Hiccup continued: "Each time I had it, the nightmare got more and more intense. I talked to Gobber about it, and he said it was a result of the trauma I'd endured. He said they'd go away in time..."

"But they didn't," Astrid concluded.

Hiccup nodded. "They just got worse and worse. Soon, every image of the Red Death reminded me of the inferno of my nightmare, and just seeing its face could send me back to the battle. That's...that's what happened back in the clubhouse. I saw the Death and...I just..."

"It reminded you of that moment," Astrid offered. "Falling into the flames, staring death in the face. Not knowing if you'd even make it out alive."

Hiccup nodded again, his eyes still on the water. "As time passed, the nightmares faded away, from nightly to weekly to monthly, until I rarely ever had it. But the image of the Death, any mention of it...I just lose it. I can't focus, I can't concentrate...It feels like it's everywhere and nowhere all at once, waiting to trap me in its fiery jaws and swallow me whole."

Astrid slid her arm around Hiccup's shoulders again, drawing him in close to her. "It's okay to have this fear, you know that right? It's rational, logical, considering what you went through. I'd be scared of it too if I was in your shoes."

"Shoe," Hiccup corrected, a hint of a smirk on his face as his eyes flicked over to her.

Astrid rolled her eyes in response to his sass. "Still, it's natural. Everyone's afraid of something, even the biggest, baddest, fiercest Viking alive." Astrid paused. "Even your father."

"I know he's afraid of something," Hiccup said simply. "He's afraid of losing me. Everyone knows that. It's kind of obvious."

"Yes, but some fears people show openly. And some people choose to hide it."

"Like me."

Astrid sighed. "Yes, like you. Although I don't understand why. You don't have to."

"I don't want the others finding out about this. Can you imagine what they would say? Their leader falling to shambles because of a huge dragon."

"That almost cost you your life trying to kill," Astrid pointed out. "Hiccup, it's okay. Really. It is. I don't think any less of you because of it. If anything, it makes you stronger."

"How in Midgard does it make me stronger?"

"Because you live with it. Grow with it. Learn from it. It's something you always have. Maybe you'll overcome it someday, maybe you won't. But having a fear like that makes you a stronger person in the sense that it doesn't control your life. Yes, you're afraid of something, but it doesn't lock you up in your house and give you massive paranoia. It just comes up at random times and you work through it, like any sensible person would." Astrid laid her free hand on Hiccup's. "But if it ever becomes too much for you to handle, come to me. I'll help you through it. We can just sit and talk, cuddle up in a blanket, go for a flight, whatever you want. I'll always be here for you. Through anything."

Hiccup looked up at her. "Promise?"

"I swear to it."

Hiccup leaned against her, his head resting in the small space between her neck and shoulder pads. "Thanks Astrid."

Astrid smiled, wrapping her arms around Hiccup in a hug. He returned the gesture, and the two stayed locked in each other's embrace until sunset, when they raced each other back to the outpost and spent the night cuddling in Hiccup's bed.


End file.
